Real Woman Advice For The Man Who Needs It – Passive Aggression At Its Finest

It happens all the time, in almost every single relationship: The woman gets comfortable around you and the days when her legs go unshaven out-number the days that they are. Whatever do you do!?

Ok guys, this one is simple. It’s a little painful at first but think of it like pulling off a band-aid and you will get it over with right at the beginning!

So we all know that when you fall in love, that’s it. You take it all and learn to love it all. We get comfortable around each other and maybe gain a little weight, start showering every second day, don’t do your hair, even use the loo in front of each other! And the list goes on.

The problem? Hairy legs. Situation? Many:  You want to have sex and she says “Oh but I haven’t shaved in ages!” You say “That’s ok!” and then you do it anyway. You’re sitting on the couch together watching tv and you start to rest your hand on her leg. She exclaims, you say it’s ok.

But is it?

Honestly, being a woman I don’t know but I think that given the choice SHOOT YA! You would take those smooth silky legs ALL the time!

So HOW do you get your lady to keep them that way? How do you get her to find the time to do it? For some just saying “Please shave’ can cause a lot of trouble. Here is a sneaky way to git er done. This would probably work best at the beginning of a relationship because that is when you’re getting to know each other and setting the tone of it all, but I don’t see why it wouldn’t work any other time.

So choose a scenario. Got one? Ok, so when your lady says ” But I haven’t shaved’  this is what you do:

You say “Oh.”
PAUSE for effect.
Then you say something in a disapointed tone yet carefully, such as: “Ok, well that’s fine”. NOTE THE COMMA! Be careful with using the words “alright’  or ‘ok’. Study and use a thesaurus gents. Your girls will just hear ‘OK! It’s great!’ :P

So she will probably get a bit pissy, and you might not get laid or she will give you the silent treatment. She will probably ask “What, you MIND when I don’t shave”  THIS is when it gets really sticky, but this is the ‘pull off the bandaid quick’ part. You need to have the right pauses and choose your words carefully so that 1. She shaves forever and 2. You don’t hurt her feelings and ruin your chances of legs around your neck ever again.

You might choose to respond with telling her she “IS very sexy, and regardless of the legs you still want to do it/hold her close.. but when her legs are silky smooth they drive you wild ”

See what I did there? “REGARDLESS

She will probably miss that at first, but think about  the whole conversation later (because that is what women do. We relive moments in our minds) and it will stick in her head. So she might be mad but you know what? She will shave. And often.  Because planting the seeds are what it’s all about. :P If your girl is super intelligent -like severely- it might not work. In this case be honest. Sorta. If she says she didn’t know that you get turned on by her smooth legs you give exclamations about how she never noticed (What?! But you have such great legs!) DO NOT over-due it. That one sentence is enough. You WILL have to keep that pretence up later but keep reading.

If this doesn’t work, start buying her razors when you buy yours and tell her they were on sale and you know how expensive they are.  There is nothing worse than knowing you have to skimp on your razors because you’re running low. DON’T forget the shaving cream and some pretty lotion. They will detract from the fact that you bought her razors. I can’t stress the gift enough. DO NOT do this until a few MONTHS after you planted the shave-your-legs-seeds. I would recommend at least 4- 6 months.
The last step is to make a sexy fuss when she does shave. ‘Bring those sexy legs over here”  “Put that leg on my desk” Take many opportunities to rub her legs and use the touching to lead to other things. But don’t overdo it!If you are fake about it-I don’t think it is at this point. I mean come-on! Sexy legs! – you could cause distrust in your relationship.  If she shaves every day, consider yourself lucky and ALWAYS stroke her legs when she gets out of the shower.

In the end, you win.

This advice is for fun. If you have a great relationship you should just be able to tell your partner to shave her damn legs.

Tagged , , , , , ,


Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: